I haven't posted much this year as I have't really had a lot to talk about. Due all the restrictions due to the pandemic, my field has been limited. Also, I realise, it really has been a while this time. The last time posted was mid-August which seems ages away. It's been a long five months and I've been struggling - If I'm really honest. My job security is threatened (retail). My industry is dying (entertainment, live music & performances) but on the plus side I've had my fair share of support.
I see myself as an open person - I mean I blog and often type reasonably personal things on here, or what some may consider. I knew something was wrong for a while, to the point that I've been dabbling writing about it at times already but when the first lockdown hit the alarm bells rang clear. Nothing really made sense anymore. For those few months I felt like my life didn't really have a meaning anymore. Everything I find pleasure in had been taken away. And yeah, I get it - everyone else had to go through the same thing but I was spending the majority of my time in my house playing Animal Crossing. (No shade on AC, it's a good game to help deal with this sort of thing) My point is, I wasn't really doing anything productive. I just remember feeling so frustrated by the whole circumstance - I mean, I still am to a lesser extent. I've felt so angry to the point that I've wanted to use violence (but haven't) and that's just not me.
This year has just been super stressful and I never want another like this again. At the moment it's looking like "lockdown 3" is going to last until March time. That's another 3 months without gigs, without being about to make any plans without the fear of having to cancel.
Thankfully, I've still been able to see a handful of my friends over these strange times and hear from a few others. Those folk are the ones that have really kept me sane as well as 4 months of meds and a fair amount of counselling sessions. I need out of retail in 2021 - or at the very least out of a supermarket name brand. I've felt like just a number this year and it's absolutely shite. The lack of care is fucked. Make one wrong move through a rough patch and rather ask whats wrong they throw you under a bus. Twice. Yeah, fuck that. I need better for 2021 and I know I can do it. (...hmph) But no, really... I've been talking to a careers advisor and he's helping me realise my potential and give the polite kick up the arse I need. That's one positive at least...
Pumpkin picking in October must be one of the few highlights of the year. Oh, and maybe the time me and a few friends had a cheeky night out (when it was legal) and the sneaky trip to Alton Towers. There's were a few other highlights before the pandemic hit the UK hard. Pendulums Fall's penultimate show at Alberts, Nottingham.
Watch here: https://youtu.be/iOQKEZLAKeQ
...Kill the Moons gig at The Chameleon with support from Desenitised, Alice's Ants and Red Puppets. Our final gig of the year at Grantham in March (takes the piss...)
I became quite an obsessive collector this year too. AC Amiibo Cards, Video Games - my fave to collect being 3ds & GameCube. Nintendo is my absolute bae this year. I see it as an investment though, maybe one year I'll lose intrest and have £££s worth of games to sell. I know there's a handful in my collection already that sell for way above originally RRP - Pokemon Soul Silver (£90), Majoras Mask 3DS Special Edition (£80?ish) - there's too many more to mention. In some way this is my positive. Not the most healthiest positive but it's also allowed me to restart my YouTube channel and reinvent it with some fresh content such as show casing my collection. I started a series called "Retro Games & Collectables" which I'm hoping to start to make on a weekly basis (since we're still in lockdown) who knows, if YouTube's algorithms pick it up it might be a nice little earner.
Retro Games & Collectables playlist: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLu1IpTgNg0_KU67gmzjFkvJm3_RrW1QGa
I've been brainstorming a few other new ideas to use on my channel - I won't share just yet as I've not quite worked it out but it's one of the few things keeping me both excited and motivated, even if the views I generate for now are dismal with only 55 subscribers.
I promise to blog much more this year as it seems already that I will have a lot more to talk about.
Stay safe! - Kim.
