Tuesday, 11 February 2020

Sick Of Being Ill

I't been a while since I've posted again. Lately I haven't had much motivation to sit and compile my thoughts like this plus, I've been fairly forgetful lately. Hy hearing is still only slowing returning to me as I fight of my second cold of the year. I can't seem to get away from illness lately and it's the main thing that is really holding me back. I've been feeling pretty useless because of this. I've been staying up late, binge watching YouTubers, specifically Call Me Kevin, Plumbella, Lilsimsie. Sometimes I'm not even fully interested just stuck on a browsing loop, more so with Call Me Kevin's content. You may have noticed the other two are more Sims-focused. I'm not much of a fan of speed builds but like the odd one or two that have a challenge, but it's the stories and old game replays that have kept me coming back the most.

In other new, the band is progressing nicely. Kill The Moon's next gig is at The Chameleon in Nottingham next week and I'm betting on it being a good night. Certainly on to look forward to but I'm going to have to focus on picking my mood up for it to be really successful. Since about early December I've not even being trying to hide when I'm in an off mood, whether that be because of illness or not to the point that comes through in photos. I want to look like I'm having a good time like I know I am but it's been difficult lately. With a lack of routine except work it's hard to keep busy and adding illness into the mix prevents me even more.

Both of these colds that I've had recently have seen me lose my voice for a bit, coming and going. It's on its way back now but still not quite there. I have rehearsal later and I'm worried about doing more harm that good. I sing more often these days, in fact I'm singing the lead of one of the new songs that we're working on. I actually wrote it almost a year ago now to build up my repertoire for my album project and it quickly became one of my favourite song-babies. It's been slightly restructured to make more sense but I'm happy with it and more so, I'm proud that I now have the confidence to get up on stage and sing - with or without a band behind me. Although it's still not something that I do too often.

That's another thing. I've been wanting to "get out there" and play more open mics. I planned to go to one this Thursday but I don't think I'll be well enough. Plus, now I'll be going to another Notts In A Nutshell night at The Golden Fleece. I got into conversation with Bassey Easton, who wants to develop his sound with other musicians. I told him I'm interested although, KTM will still be my main love and focus. It think it would be good of my head to play something new rather than rehears the same old. I love what we do but playing the same thing all of the time does get repetitive and tiresome.

I can't wait to shake this cold and get back my drive. I feel like I'm really holding myself back at the moment but there's not much I can do about being ill.


Tuesday, 31 December 2019

A Year Of 2019: Summary

I've been really quite on here so will probably keep this one brief so I can publish some catch-up posts pinned to more accurate dates. There's so much that has happened this year that I still haven't really blogged about and it doesn't seem right to only just mention things properly now... So, I'll get back to that. I have a list of topics I want to write individual posts about over the next few weeks to fill in the gaps and keep my mind active. Here's the list:

University Of Derby
Graduation
Spain
More Illness
Guitar Lessons
Music Production
NIAHAS
Kill The Moon
Open Mics

It's not a huge list, but it's still a big gap to cover.

This year has been a challenging one. At the start of the year, I don't think I quite had the right mindset. It was a bit strange going back to what still felt like a new environment. I new my way around the UoD campuses but I still hadn't quite settled in and the lack of new friends yet influx of many new faces made me feel overwhelmed during my final year. It was the one thing I was worried about, "fitting in" and it was just so difficult since social groups had already been formed long before I had got there and it was a hard thing to break into. Those that I did work with, I massively appreciated. To say how big their music department is, I felt like I only came away with a handful of friends. It's a strange thing. Nevertheless, it went fast. The course was over by early May and Graduation followed a couple of months after. This takes us to July. I had not long recovered from a throat infection and was still feeling the stress of University even after Graduation. I finished my degree with a high 2:1 and still feel like if I had made extra efforts in places, (mainly my double module which really messed me up) I could have scraped the first class degree that I wanted but at least I know by the calculations, I wasn't far off the mark.

With studying over, it was time to put focus on the band, Kill The Moon. We reformed in April this year and performed a handful of gigs this year with a few different drummers along the way, Michael Ives now being our new drummer.  I'll speak more about this in another post but I'm proud of the direction that we're going and we're now focusing on getting some recordings down.

July sparked the plan to go back to Spain with Will Giddings. This was probably on the biggest things of the year. possibly topping graduation since I'm still a bit salty about my results. We planned to go in August for a few days over a week. We had two hotels booked and a rental car, no real idea what we were doing once we got there except that one day we may have had the chance to see our friends, which we did. We found lots to do once we settled. We eat out a few nights, found a bike rental place, saw some flamingos, watched people cover themselves in mud. Ha. We were really close to the beach for the first few nights. At our second hotel, we were more inland. We found a local pool to visit, a McDonalds and one day went into the city of Murcia where I found a guitar that I brought home with me, after running around like a manic trying to find a flight case for it! It was an incredible holiday. Stressful but well worth it.

When we returned, I was ill again within a few days. I remember being called in for a night shift then when I turned up my ear went a bit weird. Little did I know that this was the continuation of an illness saga. I had an ear infection/ Weeks passed and there were still things wrong. A few more weeks passed, I passed out at home from a high temperature. I went to the doctors the next day to be told I now have a kidney infection. More antibiotics were given and eventually it passed as a bigger-picture-problem but my hearing hasn't yet still fully returned. My ear still feels blocked and I feel like fainting/blacking out from being to hot my still be a problem every month or so. I blacked out in public a couple of months ago, it wasn't fun.

These last few months of the year have been focused on recovery, band and music production. I'm still proud of the recording that me and Jake threw together in a week in October. It's nice to finally have something to show even if I know it's not perfect yet. These studio recording will be what we really need, I think I just wanted to make use of what I had. It's been nice that some friends have supported us by buying some of our merch, it helps spread word more than anything as I don't really make much back on it, but any sale goes back in towards more. It's like a cycle, except it's business. I've been working with a friend to make tracks for him and record his vocal, I'm essentially his producer at the moment. His artist name is Jem The Ruff Diamond and he aims to launch his own record label, Boombox Entertainment in the new year. This has been one of my focus points, allowing me to start earning from my craft. I did teach a few guitar lessons this year too but I need to get back into promoting that locally and see where it takes me. I just don't want to end up making myself too busy!!

December has been nice, the early part I managed to catch up with friends on a night out, we had quite a big crowd. As Christmas drew closer the days seemed to be going to fast. It's always over too soon. Now, it's new years eve and we're counting down the hours left to 2020. I don't have any new year resolutions this year but I am going to try to remain focused more. I have a few of tracks to finish in January which when completed will help me save up. That's one goal I have for this year, just to save a little, but it's hard to do whilst working part-time so a combination of this and the small hours work keep tipping on me will help. There's always going to be car insurance that pulls my income down and I'm not looking forward to paying that this year, will definitely have to shop around. There is a gig I'm eyeing up in the Netherlands. I might be able to justify it since it's not as far as a holiday to Spain but I'll have to see nearer the time, that isn't until July anyway. Will need to see what happens with Brexit!

Thursday, 26 September 2019

More Illness, For Over A Month

It all started (again) once I got back from Spain. Not immediately, it took a few days. I was generally achey the day we got back (Wednesday 14th August) but it wasn't until the Saturday later in the week as I was about to start a night shift that my ear started to ring. At first I thought it had just popped so, sort of waited for something to happen but I fast realised that something wasn't right but I had to just suck it up. Working nights is lone work, so there's little to no support if something goes wrong. I figured that I wasn't exactly dying so I'd somehow survive the night. The problem was afterwards when I realised working Saturday night take you through to Sunday morning when no where is open to be seen to. This meant that I had to wait another day. Sleep was hard. My poor ear was absolutely ringing in pain, I'd never known anything quite like it.

I had to wait until the Monday to see a nurse about my problem who gave me the same antibiotics as before, a weeks worth. After that, a week later, the pain had gone but I still couldn't hear very well. Two weeks on, I had another appointment. My usual medical centre was busy so they sent me up for an evening appointment at Ilkeston Hospital. I was seen to pretty quick but given nothing else and told to give it more time and give it another two weeks. At this point I was starting to get really stressed about my hearing coming back. Two weeks is already a long time to live with only one functional ear.

I waited and by the time I was dues to see some, little did I know that I had picked something else up along the way. I mean, I really didn't know and two nurses missed out on telling me but thats partially my fault for not realising what was going on with my body and focusing too much on my hearing problem. Naturally, I thought it was all related. It wasn't until I saw a doctor last Friday that I knew of my new problem even though by that point I reckon that I had already had it for a week. I had been struggling sleeping again, very feverish, back pain, no appetite and my temperature was ridiculously high, so high that the doc was concerned I could contract sepsis. I've had a kidney infection. The back pain was in fact my kidneys screaming at me in pain, fighting infection but at least this is nearly over now. I take my last antibiotic in the next hour and the pain has really eased off today. There's still little bits but I've been more active today, or rather it's been a lot easier for me to move about.

Yesterday, I was still slow but I can feel myself picking up now. I've just been taking it easy. I wanted to get some recording done today but I just ended up playing The Sims most of the day, eating better and blogging. I still won't be 100% for another three weeks but I definitely feel like I'm getting there now and I swear if I get ill again this year... (Ugh!)

I've missed this. I feel like I have so much to catch up on. So much has happened since my last post in June, which ironically was also about illness. But, yes! Spain, I went back to Spain. I haven't mentioned that, before that was Graduation. I'm a graduate now. These all need their own seperate specific posts really, not a short outburst on this one.

The good news for now is that I'm on the mend.

KILL THE MOON - GIG @ THE CHAMELEON, NOTTINGHAM 08/10/19

Poster designed by Emily Jane, singer of Alice's Ants.

Thursday, 15 August 2019

Spain 4-0 Journal

Monday 5th
Flight 06:45am to Murcia International.
Arrived 11am Spain time.
Collected rental car early.
Expecting KA, received Citroen C3.
Drove around rental car park to get used to new car, right-side gears and keeping right.
Drove from Murcia International Airport to Sen Pedro del Pinatar for Hotel Paloma.
Found on street parking close to hotel and potential car park.
Trouble checking in because of it being a reservation and the language barrier but was given two rooms for our stay.
Room 303 with single beds for 2 nights and room 301 with a double bed for 3 nights.
Unpacked and settled into room.
Text Kirst.
Went for a wander around San Pedro del Pinatar, saw flamingos.
Wandered down across Lo Pagan beach front for an ice cream then wandered back to the hotel.
Went back out in the evening for food at El Paraiso and shared a pizza then wandered back across Lo Pagan.
Played on a few playground for a short while, mainly the climbing frame and the swings.
Found a fun fair and had a quick look around.



Tuesday 6th
Saw a blue mustang parked outside our hotel.
Lidl for cobs, ham, shower gel and plasters. (Will’s new trainers had been rubbing)
Couldn’t get a space on the car park when we returned so had to street park.
Vanilla Coke from local shop on top beach front.
New flip flops for the beach. Black with blue flamingos and straps.
Ate ham cobs on the beach.
Reply from Kirst that we should be able to see them Thursday!!
Went into the sea for a while.
Sand everywhere.
Sat with feet in mud bath.
Saw lots of muddy people, covered head to toe.
Saved some ham cobs for the evening before we went out.
Moved the car into the car park before heading to the fun fair (by foot)
Found an amazing gift shop with the perfect gift for the Proctors.
Found that the fun fair does not open fully until 9pm when it starts to get darker.
Discovered bar Idolo tucked away, nice bar. Had one drink in there before the fun fair opened.
We both went on three rides which were very good value for the duration you’re on the ride.
Bumper cars.
Jump and Smile (basically)
Totem (like bull ride)
The last one was very physical but absolutely hilarious.
We brought a couple of drinks (water) to chill out for a moment afterwards and found an outdoor gym area.
We decided that we wasn’t going to go on any more rides even though we had only spent 9€.
We went back to bark Idolo for one last drink and then headed back to the hotel.



Wednesday 7th
We had to pack up and change rooms in the morning then unpack and resettle into our new room.
Shopping for water and snacks.
Brought cheese onion lays, two waters (each) and a can of strawberry Fanta.
Bike ride day.
Cycled to top of mud baths until it is restricted for cyclists because of above power lines and then back to beach front.
Headed to Torre De La Horadada, managed to reach just past the tower.
Total bike ride time approx. 3hrs 30mins.
We were knackered but it was extremely fun.
10€ for 4hrs bike rental, the kept hold of my passport though.
We went to Maggies in El Majon for food in the evening. I had chicken and chorizo pasta and Will had a cheese burger.
We went to Corner Music Tavern for a drink afterwards then headed to the beach for some fresh air.
We found a volleyball tournament and the atmosphere and local community spirit was incredible.
We walked back to Corner Music Tavern to check out the musicians performing that weren’t on until 23:30, stayed a short while for a few songs and then headed back to the car.



Thursday 8th
Proctor dayy.
Rough start struggling to sleep in new room. I think I managed 4 hours. Will got up quite a few times in the night. I listened to my iPod to try to help me get back to sleep but ended up just resting instead. I did drop off for another hour or so later in the morning.
When I woke up, Will had disappeared without telling me where he was going and his phone hadn’t been working.
I lost Will.
Gave him some time but then found home downstairs in the café.
He had had a small breakfast on his own.
We went out later in the morning so that I could grab something.
I brought 6 churros with a chocolate dip and they were perfect.
We wandered down to the ice cream place we went to before so that will could have an ice cream.
He dropped most of it then we headed back to the hotel.
When at the ice cream place, we had sat on a step instead of the seats and I didn’t realise that I had chewing gum stuck to me me, rested on our balcony window and smeared it everywhere by accident.
Gave me something to clear up.
We headed to the car for just after 13:30 so we would get to Torre for 2pm.
No problem with traffic and the Proctors villa was easy to find really.
We got there a few minutes early.
A few welcoming hugs, we came baring gifts.
I had brought Kirsty a t-shirt from Primark with her slogan, “make it happen” written across the front and a pack of tractor top trump cards.
I had brought a cat mosaic ornament, hand made in Spain for them both, for Lisa to open.
We had a drink with them at their villa before we went out for a light lunch at Bar Willy’s.
Both me and will had two small baguettes with bacon and cheese. Kirsty had chips and egg and Lisa had ordered chicken kebab with a portion of yuka chips.
After this we wandered to a few more bars.
The next one was on Mil Palmera beach, I just had water here after my quad Malibu and coke at Bar Willy’s.
Kirsty was struggling with the heat.
We walked up into the small shopping/bar area and went to another bar in that area so that Kirsty could cool down. She brought a new vest that was lighter to help herself out too.
We then headed for the plaza in Pueblo Latino where I just had a coke and water.
Lisa went back to their villa early to get a head start getting ready for the evening. We finished our drinks then headed back.
We had both brought some spare clothing with us just in case we either ended up staying over or going in their pool so we had something to change into for, for the evening.
We went to La gamba for a drink first then Red Corner In Plaza Nueva for food where I had spaghetti bolognese. Will has a massive pepperoni and bacon pizza to himself. Kirst had a BLT baguette and Lisa had a veggie Sandy with chips.
I absolutely scoffed down that meal, it was amazingly delicious and a great portion size.
We finished out drinks and headed for the main square and went to Bar UK.
I caught up a little with Teresa, a lady from Birmingham who I met last year and we both met a few of Kirsty and Lisa’s friends.
Myself and Will just had one more drink here but the girls had a couple.
Kirsty and Will went to fetch some of our stuff out of our rental car.
When they got back, Kirsty called us a taxi as Will was starting to drop off.
He had just had a massive (6 shot?) Jack Daniels and coke from Red Corner that he struggled with but finished.
It took a short while for our taxi to arrive.
Our driver got a little lost and confused but it was less than 17€.
We were pretty much straight to bed when we got back to our hotel room.
It wasn’t until we got in the taxi that I realised we had been out and about for 12 hours!!
13:30-01:30



Friday 9th
I slept pretty well last night but still only managed to get about 6 hours. I think it was the sun rising that woke me up.
I like to leave the curtains open slightly so that only a little bit of light comes though and it’s not too intense to wake up to.
Started listening to music to ease me back to sleep again but jest ended up getting emotional about how special the twins are to me. Made me think that everyone needs friends that make them that happy.
“Get yourself a friend that makes you cry with happiness.”
I’ve spent the last hour and 20 mins catching up writing all of this up to here so that we don’t forget a thing that we have done. It’s been amazing so far.

Cont.

We got up late since we had a late night.
Walked to Kirsty’s from San Pedro Del Pinatar.
Stopped off at Corner Music Tavern for a drink and snacks.
Took us about an hour including the small break.
Stayed at theirs for a good couple of hours chatting and then left them to get ready for their last night out.
We headed for the Chinese shop for some little bits, I brought some post cards, fake Pokémon cards and a couple of key rings. Will brought some tattoos transfer books and we both got some water.
Headed back to the car to set off to La Zenia.
Ended up on the AP-7 which is a toll toad that cost us 3.95€, it was more direct though.
We stayed at the shopping boulevard for quite a few hours, wondering whether or not to see The Cages.
We diced not to in the end and just headed back to our hotel after having a subway for dinner.
I brought a couple of shirts from La Zenia and a cheap PSP game.
When we got home we were both on our phones to our parents for quite a while.



Saturday 10th
This was the end of our stay at Paloma Hotel and we had to be out by 12. We got out early and had coffee before we left, we both agreed that the coffee is really nice there.
We nipped into Lo Pagan so I could get some more bracelets to take home for friends.
Drove into torre so that Will could have a quick go in the car, just how it feels 1st and reverse.
Headed to Lidl for food to keep us going for the next few days, a couple of cobs, ham, plasters and Ameretto. We got a loaf from Lo Pagan.
Headed to hotel number two.
It took about half an hour to get there across the RM-
Once we settled in we did nothing for the rest of the day.



Sunday 11th
We had breakfast at the hotel at about 10am
Text Kirst about Will saying he’d not slept but didn’t hear the storm.
They were flying back this morning.
We tried to see their flight take off but must have been on time so we missed it.
Found a pool to go to in Murcia, 10 minutes drive away.
*pool name*
We got lost on the way up by missing the exit but got there in the end.
5€ entry and it was beautiful.
Afterwards on the way back we found an Aldi, small shop and a McDonald’s which we stopped off at for food.
Then we headed back to the hotel.
In the evening we decided to head back towards El Majon and Torre since there is nothing where we are.
We went to the Corner Music Tavern for one then moved on into Torre.
Got a bit extra cash out from the ATM to last us the last few days and then settled at Bar UK for one.
We moved to Plaza Nueva for a couple more where we bumped into Sheila & Tereasa whom I met that year which made a great night.
Sheila paid for one of our drinks, we gave them both a lift home since Sheila helped Will our by giving him some earplugs to help him sleep.
It was a tired drive back to the hotel, aided by Will being a spare pair of eyes but we got back and in bed for around 02:30am, possibly our latest night out.
Slept like a baby for about 8 hours, I was so tired. We both were but it was a great night.



Monday 12th
We missed breakfast at the hotel because we were both so tired this morning.
Even I didn’t get up until after 10pm and Will was ready for 12 midday.
Went out for food, but tidied the hotel room ready for our departure in the morning.
We were ready to go home.



Tuesday 13th
Early start.
Drove from the hotel to the airport.
Dropped of the rental car before 8am.
Flight home to EMA from Murcia.


Thursday, 20 June 2019

Illness & Confusion

This is the first time I've had a clear mind in a long time and it's came at the wrong time. Well, actually, I'd say more yesterday than anything. I'm recovering from some kind of super throat infection at the moment and have been put on antibiotics. I've lost about 7lbs since Thursday when this illness really kicked in from not being able to eat because of an uncomfortable pain at the back of my throat and only put back on a small amount from my first meal yesterday.

I was doing alright, starting to feel better until yesterday evening and now the pain when swallowing as returned. It's not as bad, but still sharp. I don't know what I'm annoyed about the most now though. I woke up early this morning because of the pain and eventually ended up listening back to some of my album that I had submitted (it's been graded now and everything) and noticed my track "Disappointment" is missing an entire lead guitar track that I know was recorded and ready at the time, it just somehow got accidentally missed out. It irritates me because I didn't get the best grade for it anyway and I just think that if this was included in the mix of this song like it should have been I might have actually got a better grade as this one little track adds lots of detail and feel to the song, it's a bunch of lead melodies played all the way through and a solo.

More than anything, I can't believe I've only just noticed this now. How could I not notice? Did my brain just assume it was there because I know exactly how it sounds from hearing it so much in the mixing process? Was this a psychoacoustic problem or just a genuine mistake? Either way, whichever it was I'm hella' pissed about it now. If I were less stress I imagine that I would have noticed. Even if including it would have only added me say 5% extra on my grade, even though that wouldn't be enough boost my average to the next tier. I'm gutted and bewildered by how this could have happened.

Never mind. I think I still got a high 2:1 in the end so I suppose I can't complain too much even if it isn't the first class degree that I was aiming for.