This Morning

I was up last night until about 1am working on a new song for my album project at uni. Meticulously editing midi data to that I'd played in to be in-time. It was a fairly complex piano part, not too difficult to play mainly problems with latency that put it askew. So, it was a late night and hell I'm feeling it this morning. Once I packed away, saved up and shut down my Mac, I relaxed with my iPad for a bit. It's kind of normal for me to still be awake going into the early hours now, like 3am but I found something last night that made me so angry, I'm not even sure it's worth the effort. This kept me up most of the night, once I found it. Something had resurfaced, a problem that maybe wasn't quite resolved but was made civil at least. The problem was meant to be dead and buried almost 5 years ago, but no this is the gift that keeps on giving.

I never thought I'd have to say this but I think now is the time to cut all ties with the past. Or as much as possible. It made me realise how easily researchable I am because of it and if an audiences views are corrupted and they figure that it is me it's not exactly going to be an easy life a simple re-published mistake. I'm going to be making changes to this blog page and slowly erase history for my own protection. The audience don't have a name, just a band name so it figures. I will censor old posts, delete the Facebook page (that's not public anyway) and maybe even try to delete the youtube videos. One things for certain is I need to try to get this video down that slanders me, if I'm unsuccessful at least I'll be protected without links.

I'm really not shocked that this has happened. It's almost like I've been expecting it, which is why I check up on a few people from time to time. I need to be the better person in this, but I'm not letting her get away with this. Hell no.

>edit: I've decided against deleting old posts because it just shows how much work and time I invested in this. What a shame.

Fun and Illness

This semester is starting to feel quite loose since I only really have to in on Thursdays for a full day. I do have other timetabled things throughout the week, specifically on Mondays and Tuesdays but there's hardly any point to them as not many show up and the Tutorial on Thursday is pretty late. There's another tutorial slot on Thursdays which makes more sense to attend since I'm in all day anyway. I seem to have clung to playing bass for the live performance module, it seems to make more sense and fit better with our arrangement including piano, vocals and percussion. Jordan has an interesting instrument, shaped like a guitar with the similar purpose of a cajon with added extra bits and it sounds pretty cool. Not 100% sure how it should be mic-ed up yet though but it really does sound great.

It has been a slow month, even though we made a lot of progress in our practice session last week. I haven't really focused on anything else. I was hoping to get all the bass tracks I needed to record done by the end of last week but I'm still trying to get it done this week. Motivation was the problem before and now I'm ill. Not as ill as I was this morning, but every time I sneeze or blow my nose my right eye twitches and quite frankly I'm sick of it already. I think it started from when I went out over the weekend

First Full Day Of The Spring Semester

Ok, so I've reached a point where I really need to sort my life out. I feel like I've wasted this month and could have done so much more with it but instead I've been lazy and slept in most days. It's only just occurred to me that the end of the month is now and I'm starting to feel like I'm running out of time, with my Uni stuff. I mean, I still have 3 solid months left and the most of May for one or two modules but it's starting to feel like I'm cutting it rather fine to get the grading I'm after. I've got a taste for earning a first and I want more. I got my grades back officially last night and turns out I got 75% for my Recording Project and 64% for my Research project so, I just need to keep that up. On top of that, I really need to get on with recording at home. I'be been borrowing an AKG C414 to use at home but I just haven't been motivated enough to actually do anything with it this time. Last week was fairly unproductive two but I got a decent amount down the week before.

I was really early this morning because I thought it was a 9am start, turns out it was 11am and I had completely forgot and probably not even read the email that Phil had sent out because the info didn't even register. This is why I need to be more focused, although the early get up was a good workout in itself. I used my error as an excuse to get a Maccies breakfast and then take a few photos of the layering of frost around. A lot of Derby was still white when I got there and there was a thick fog as I drove into the city.

I'm feeling a little more positive after a couple of lectures at Uni today and being put into a band for my Live Performance module. Looks like I will be playing a mix of guitar and bass for this project so I'm pretty happy with that and I'm happy with who I'm working with two. We're all pretty easy going about song choices and seem to get on really well. I felt quite welcome going back today actually, I rather shortly caught up with a few students that I worked or crossed paths with last year and now I'm working with some of them again. I feel somewhat inspired from John's lecture today, even if it did drag on a little, but I've gain new options and ideas for my coursework from it. On reflection, I probably shouldn't be writing for this personal blog and rather should be writing the on that goes hand-in-hand with my some of my coursework.

I'm going to make a move now, since I've done most other things I wanted to do. Time to get some more recording done for this album project! Even if it is just a couple of guitar tracks!!

January

January hasn't quite gone to plan so far but I've been reasonably productive in-between avoiding every responsibility I have. The original plan was to record everything this month for my EP project. Whilst that may have been too much to ask, I have also become quite lazy. I can't pin point when it started but it was at the start of the month. I think There have been a total of two, maybe three days where I have been up and about before 12 noon. I've been oversleeping and feeling rather tired from it even though I'm not doing anything. Despite this, I've been itching to go to the gym but still haven't. One good thing is that I have managed to lose a small amount of weight that I gained over Christmas but there is still plenty more that needs to go before I feel fully comfortable with myself again.

I got my grades back on Monday. The weeks before that I had almost convinced myself that I was going to get a referral for one of my modules but turns out I've passed it so thats a bonus. In fact, I passed everything from last semester so that is something to be proud about, that I have survived thus far. 55% and 75%. I'm reasonably happy with that too. I'm especially happy with 75% for my recording module since to say it was meant to be group work, there were a few times when it felt like it was just me doing all the work. It was a hinder at the time as it meant it took longer to set up sometimes but it meant that I got to engage with it all more and I feel like I've actually taken a lot from it. We went out for a meal for dads Birthday last week, the same day I got my grades so I delivered the news there and then. We just went to the festival and then gave Dad his presents the next day, on his actual birthday.

It's been a strange evening tonight, I had my first go at faking what I do. I had a band in the studio to record a music video of which they had already recorded the music so was just in-essence playing along. It was a bit weird, but comfortable. I didn't have to do much and that was probably the weirdest part, in fact I probably made more work for myself than I had to.

I've been playing guitar late tonight and learning the solo from the song "Jane" by The Waking Hours. It's probably the most therapeutic thing I've done in a while. I got another guitar about two weeks ago, another Washburn but I think even after giving it the TLC it very much needed, I still favour my MG-47. More for reliability than anything, I really prefer the neck on my new KC-40V.

I must add that I'm really looking forward to the Live Performance module this year, but that could change once I'm sorted into groups. I'm open for anything, guitar or bass and not too fussed on genre and I'm just excited to rehearse and perform again. There will still other things I'll have to focus on, like the recording of my album that I've been neglecting and a small music business research project but actually when I think about it, it seems pretty short. This either means I'm know what I need to know and maybe am finding it somewhat easy or it's just an oversight. No doubt, I will find out soon enough when I start to panic about deadlines being close.

A Year of 2018: Summary

Again it's been a while since my last blog post, almost two months this time. It's only what I expected as things have become more busy. My, what a year! I'm not sure where to start with this one. You would think it would make sense to start from the beginning, so January but most of the highlights seem to start in the summer. Spain Tour, my first time abroad and then flying back out on my own and back another two times. Mental. There was other things before, it's just taking more time to remember them after a more than usual intake of alcoholic drinks throughout this year.

I went into this year worrying about my Realise performance for my HND which, admittedly I never really got in to but still at least sorted it out and did it in the end. It was the biggest stress of the entire course and totally would have benefited from a better theme other than myself. Although, the theme did bring subtle positivity about perseverance in pursuing achievements. That's something I forgot about until now. It was great to watch the other students on my course do their thing for change too, as well as the other students on other courses watch me perform for change. I'm really struggling to think of many other major things prior to this, so much that I've had to look back through my own blog to recap. This year has obviously had an effect on my memory. I remember reaching the painful point again where it was time to leave college (again) and not really wanting to, but then it wasn't really over when it ended for me anyway. Scoffin gave me a distortion pedal as a thank you for all the work I've done. Still massively honoured from that and I still keep in touch now by going to his gigs occasionally.

Oh, yes... The other things were having to sort out which Uni I was gonna finish my studies, adding stress to my HND. School gigs also happened again, except I played drums this time and experienced the horrors of the seat falling throughout the set. Great fun, but that part wasn't. Exceptionally great when one of the kids tried to throw one of the vocal monitors. Great memory. Terrifying, but great. Then there was the industry week performances to end. I got into a relationship we had a couple of dates, even a double date at Nandos. He met some of my closest friends but that all ended faster that I thought it could... All in-between doing the rest of my coursework, whatever that was! And there was that time when My mac Mini's hard drive failed. Not long before some major deadline too, that was fun!

Spain Tour 2018, landing in Alicante. Taken by Matt Horobin.

When I was invited to go on the Spain Tour, I had my initial doubts but still for some reason rather spontaneously agreed, at the time without passport in hand! There was a lot to sort out, find out in what seemed like a short space of time. Passport application, EHC card, suitcase, something else. I don't regret the decision at all as it lead to having the best week of my life. A week away from parents, support-teching for live music gigs in a couple of bars on the south coast of Spain with friends that are life-long. Staying in villas with pool to share between us. I impressed myself that week. I spoke with everyone, even those that I didn't know as well. I'm usually rubbish with that kind of stuff. I experienced my first hangover and still went into college. There are many amazing photos and great memories from this experience. Only about 200. The gap between the end of tour and experiencing a Derby University was just as phenomenal. All tour friends kept in contact with the group chat and we met up for nights out, meals, gigs and bowling. I even went to their graduation. Then there was the whole going to and from Spain again and again. I remember the strangest feeling boarding the early flight to Murcia thinking, "I know where I'm going but I don't know where I'm going." Some slight anxiety about potentially getting lost and coughing all the way. I made it in the end. Mini golf. When I was home again, I wasn't. Homeland UK was warm too. I hadn't been back an hour and I was already off back out for a drink with some guys from tour. Then I was back off to Spain again for two weeks less than a month later, after Mablethrope at my parents caravan for a day. It was a good deal bringing Chantelle along as she took me to the airport the next day. Beautiful sunset on the way home. 5am starts. Go karting in the sun... go kart crash! More drinks. There's one lady that's certainly made this year so great and that's Kirsty Proctor, I find myself forever thankful for all the effort she put into making the tour happen and for her and her family for allowing me to stay at their villa the other couple of times. Drinks and food It's been lovely to get to know them too.

Recording Left Hand Lane at Derby studios 2018.

I really wanted to go to DMU and still kind of wish I did but, I'm quite grateful that Derby offered me a place although, everything from September through to now feels like a blur. I do remember it much clearly than the first half of the year though so that's something. Planning to record my two EPs for my Creative Studies module. I've had many bands in the studio at Derby, some of them familiar faces and some new surprises. To list them: The Jellyfish Are Calling, Left Hand Lane, Red Six and The Half Eight.  Having these guys in the studio, in some cases having to engineer them myself has made me accept that I can call myself a producer these days, even if maybe there is still room for improvement on the mixing an mastering part. Nights out with some of the tour crew resulting in late Wednesday evenings and trying to make 9am lectures Thursday morning sober. Hell, I even experienced my first of being ill from drinking. I should never be allowed proseco again. Mum had to deal with me that day and I just laugh about it now, especially since dad says he can keep it down but was throwing up too a couple of days later. Brilliant. He didn't know I knew either. Ha. Also, HND Graduation and seeing Joe Bonamasa live at the Motorpoint Arena.

Nottingham College HND Music Production
Graduation, 2018.

I think I've about covered it. I could probably still type more but I'm not very good at this anymore. Last year (2017 to avoid any confusion) I posted 60 times, 2018 a measly 17. That's an all time low since 2013!

So, resolutions then... probably about the same as last year to be honest. Christmas has made me fatter so a healthier diet is in order (once I've finished my chocolate) and no doubt I'll be back at the gym soon. Maybe tomorrow actually, depends what I get into. I got really good at controlling what I was eating before the summer and I need to get back to that mentality again so I can get back to my comfortable weight. The ultimate goal in around 9st 2lbs. That's where I was at in the summer and it worked for me although a little less would still be healthy for me.

It's more goals I need to think about then anything. I probably seem quite weight conscious but I does help my confidence too when I feel more comfortable.

• Lose the Christmas weight. Definitely. As immediately as possible
• Be more active.
• Complete BA Popular Music with Music Technology
• Limit Facebook usage.

Completing my BA sounds a bit silly to be put on the list but, it is still a work in progress and there is still a lot of work to be done. I drew in my calendar last week all the recording time I'll need to make use of this month to be on track. As for Facebook, I do love it and how it makes it so easy to keep in contact with everyone but I need to start limiting myself. I probably do have two addictions right now and thats sugar and Facebook, both are rather like diving me a dummy for an hour or two. I've found myself sat up until 2am scrolling, not able to sleep properly and then not able to get up in the morning so I need to sort that. Might start by deleting the application from my phone soon, I'll keep messenger though. I hardly talk to anyone anyway!

I'm certainly glad my first semester at Derby is over. It's been hard, but I love it. 

Hears to the next one!

Happy New Year!

2018 in many pictures...

Above the clouds

It's been a while since I'd felt recognised for what I do for my music, until last night. I had got chatting with some ex-students that I'd met before, more in passing but they had seen me perform before. It was amazing to hear from them that they find me inspirational, I mean they are much younger than me and they spoke it so grown up. Respect is a big thing for me as it goes far but I really appreciated the kind words. I shiver at the word "talented" sometimes but never refuse it as a compliment. I work hard for what I do and I'm glad they see it in someway, or maybe not.

It's reminder of how far I've come and something I will never forget. These eight last eight years have been a musical journey and one that is ever changing its path. I still don't quite know where I'm going but for someone younger than me to tell me that I will go far really boosted me and with my recent levels of motivation, this was something that I really needed.

I'm glad we all got chatting, some of them I'd never really had chance to speak to properly just with class and social groups and the way things are in a college setting. I've offered a couple of them a chance to work with me in a band and it works well to carry it on. The band will be for my uni project and I will write all the material and I can see potential just from talking to them which gets me excited. However, I still want to see the musicians available at hand at uni. I'm starting to get to know and fit in with some folk but it's a hard turn pushing in and is something I don't really do. I'm patient and generally seem to wait for interest which is probably a bad thing but it's sort of working.

In other news things are getting busy. I'm a little behind with my research project but I know what I'm doing and my recording project is coming along really well and I have two bands booked in the next couple of weeks (Left Hand Lane and Red Six) that will count towards this module. Some, admittedly are back up plans but I'd rather have more, than less. I've already recorded artists at this point, Nottingham band The Jellyfish are Calling and Pianist Marcus Livingston. I received feedback on both today so I have some new pointers to guide me.

Projects and Things...

Deadlines are starting to appear and I had my very first one last week. I managed to achieve it but all in all I still feel a little behind. I have a lot of reading to do and some primary research. I will be able to focus more on my research project after this week since the deadline for my creative studies is this week and once that's out of the way I wont really need to think about it again, except perhaps keeping in mind my plan for the academic year to get it all done. But yes, once this is out the way I'll have more free time to crack on with the what has now become main focus module for this semester, my research project/dissertation. A part of me still cant believe that it has to be done before Christmas but, I believe it is possible. I've been working on my ethics form today since that has to be in by the end of the week too and its all starting to become a little more clearer and I have a good structure for the word count and my disposal and various other templates too!

I feel like I'm picking up this week... finally. I picked up a cold this Saturday gone and before that I hadn't been very motivated to do work anyway but today has been pretty productive. I mean, I've still got to rewrite the proposal for Creative studies but I know exactly what I want to do now and it will reduce my work load a little too over the course of the year. I'll be looking for bands to record very soon-ish, one for my research project and one or two for my recording project. That's what I'm most excited for, getting back in the studio again. At the moment, my best days are Thursday. Even though they are pretty slow starting with a 9am lecture that lasts two hours, we have our workshop in the studio just after for two hours and sometime we will even go into these sessions earlier to maximise the time and experience we get. I've thoroughly enjoyed every workshop session so far, even though I don't always learn something new I always get to play about with pro tools and work out how the two downstairs studios work. They are a little complex, especially being used to Logic and Clarendon's not-so-trusty RS1 where you have to patch everything in. I'm still not used to not seeing the gain structure, it seems hidden in the Rednet software but it is clear as day.

I'm going out later. This is a new bad habit it seems, Wednesday evening at the tap. It's always a laugh and I think its exactly what I need mid week. I still don't have many friends here in Derby, and the ones I have made I only see once or twice per week so going out and seeing some of my Nottingham friendies perks me up socially.